i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
