I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
