fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
