i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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