We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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