Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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