thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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