oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
