Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I need a beard to bite.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
