he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
