Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was like eating out sand paper
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
