Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
