seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
