Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
