Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
