I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
