Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think i peed on brittanys purse
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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