WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
