Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
