drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she smelled like a LAN party
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
