HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
