you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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