also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
