If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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