WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
