SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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