I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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