Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
