it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
