I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
