Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
