oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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