so let's talk penis.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
3pm strippers are depressing
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
