At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
