Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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