She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
