That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
