We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
