He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
