Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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