She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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