Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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