Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
