You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Do vagina's smell?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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