I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
