@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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