i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
