none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
