Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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