I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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