I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
