Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
