The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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